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Stop calling me Mommy.  My name is MOTHER.

Stop calling me Mommy. My name is MOTHER.

Mother Cusser is sick of the Mommy Wars

Author: Mother Cusser/Thursday, January 23, 2014/Categories: Cussing, 95,748 Pets, Pumpkin Pie, ADHD, Tips to improve your life, DIVORCE..., Southern Gents, Funny, funny, funny, True Diary Entries, Top Ten and Five Lists, Don't let them win.

<<You want a Mommy War? I'll show you a Mommy War.




A fan sent this to me, click here to see it. It’s a pictorial called “Stop the Mommy Wars.”  OH BROTHER.  Maybe I should say OH MOTHER?  

Anywhoo.

It’s a big web page with pictures. Each picture has two smiling women in it with opposing parenting tactics like “I breast fed” and “I bottle fed.”  

I HATE IT.

I’ll tell you why.  

1. STOP CALLING YOURSELVES MOMMIES.  That alone is enough to drive me over the edge.  We are grown women. We are parents.  Our kids call us that.  You get that? It’s a kid’s name for us.  KIDS.  We are adults.  We should refer to ourselves as such. (side note – know any grown women who refer to their fathers as “Daddy”? And not Daddy like “It’s at Mother and Daddy’s house”  That’s fine.  But Daddy like this:  “Dis is my Daddy!!!” and “Daddy’s wittle girl!” I think when a 35 year old woman does that it’s that’s a warning sign, men.  I think it means she’s crazy. I bet she also calls her friends who have kids “Mommies”)

2. I also hate it because it is a big fat lie.  Lady who breast fed doesn’t judge the lady who didn’t?  BULL.  Lady who lets her kid eat fast food is not judged by the lady who only does organic? HA HA!  RIGHT.  My favorite is the baby weight one.  “I lost all my pregnancy weight.”  “I am still working on losing the pregnancy weight.”  Shut up, second lady.  You know damn well that you’re pissed that you haven’t lost the weight. You also know that you’re secretly telling yourself that SHE either has a magic metabolism or she’s anorexic.  And you would NEVER want to have a mental disorder like THAT. You’ll take being chubby, thank you very much!  (no you wouldn’t).  

3. Girls.  We can disagree with each other. It’s okay.  It’s okay to think to yourself, “That’s not how I would do it.”  

4. It is also okay to think, “Maybe she’s doing it better. I should try that.”  

5. This pictorial is not going to change a thing.  In fact, I think it makes everything worse. Because it’s encouraging us to pretend that everything is okay. That we should smile pretty and FAKE IT.  Great advice for women.  Hush up now.  Who cares if she’s hitting her kids with a whip. Personally, I punish mine through verbal abuse and food deprivation.  To each his own! Hey! Let’s put that on a sign and take a picture.  SMILE!  

War is actual war.  Anyone in the military can tell you that disagreeing about how someone raises their child is not like war.  Using the word “war” is a marketing trick to make something bigger and more sensational then it is.  

The media does this all of the time.  War on obesity. War on education. War on the fact that blue mascara is coming back in style.  I might have made that last one up.  But even if I did, I think we need to start that war.  Blue mascara? Really?  

Ladies – I’ll say it again.  It’s okay to disagree with each other.  Goodness gracious, have you ever been to my Mother Cusser Facebook page??  My fans are big mouths. If they don’t like what I’ve said, they march right up to me and say, “Mother, I don’t like this!” I’m proud of them when they do.  I’m not always right.  I always carefully read what they say before I respond. Maybe I need to apologize.  I’m okay with that.  

Don’t be afraid! It’s okay to not like how someone else does it.  It’s also okay to learn from how they do it.  It’s okay to make mistakes and fix them.  Don’t give a false smile and blow it off.  Be you! Be honest about being you!  Don’t apologize for your decisions! OWN THEM.  Be proud.  That is what this pictorial was supposed to do.  

Instead all I see are a bunch of fakers.  In my eyes - it failed.  

You know what?  I’m going to do my OWN pictorial.  Mother Cusser is going to start a war.  No I’m not. I just can’t respectfully use that term.  So call it what you want – but here’s my version of the pictorial. I shall call it - Mother Cusser’s Mommy Wars Pictorial Reply.  Man, I’m really good at these names. They just fall out of your mouth they are so easy to say.  

ENJOY!


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